| Wednesday, April 4th @ 12:15pm EST (ATL) |
[04 Apr 2012|12:14pm] |
{Private, readable by close friends that are not Angela Jones}
I feel betrayed. I told my supposed best friend something extremely private and personal. I asked her not to tell anyone... that I needed to do it. Obviously she couldn't keep her fucking mouth shut.
I might as well let all of you know too, since I'm sure it will be broadcast all over soon by someone. Please try and understand that I never told anyone because I was too scared and ashamed. My family and I decided to cover it up so that I could have as normal a life as possible.
I got pregnant the summer before my sophomore year.... with Matt Kane's kid. I never told him because I was pretty sure of what his response would be. It's the same one I'm pretty sure most decent guys would have. They'd want to be responsible and take care of the kid. That would have meant leaving school and getting a job or something similar and along those lines. I wanted out of Blackshear... I wanted my music career. I wanted a future that I didn't see possible with a kid. I wanted my child to have two parents that were committed to each other and could give her everything a child could ever need or ask for.
It was selfish of me not to tell him, but what's done is done. I can't change what I did. He hates me now and I understand why. Maybe someday he can forgive me and see where I was coming from, but I can't bank on that ever being the case.
I'm out. I'm going to stay with Kit for a few days. I'm afraid to that if I talk to her or see her right now I will say things that I will regret later.
{/Private}
{Private to Angela}
I'm going over to Kit's place for a while. Just wanted to give you a heads up why you won't see me around for a bit.
{/Private}
Still waiting. I need to learn better patience.
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| Wednesday, March 21st @ 11:15am EST (ATL) |
[21 Mar 2012|09:40am] |
New York was incredible. Laid down two tracks for Mr. Ratcliff. I hope he likes them. Both songs are very near and dear to my heart. Anyone who has seen me perform in the last seven years will know this one. It's called Hiding My Heart and contrary to what some think, it's actually not about a guy at all.
I'm so happy that Kevin was able to join me in New York. He showed me so many fabulous places and sights... I would have never seen all that I did if I'd gone alone.
{Private to Kevin}
I contacted Matt before New York... to tell him, but he wasn't available. A friend of ours lost his wife and then he was going off on vacation with his wife. We're supposed to get together in early April, hopefully, to talk.
I'm so nervous and scared to tell him. I told my best friend last night. I guess I kind of needed practice. She wasn't happy about it. I know I shouldn't have kept the secret from her or from him... but at the time it seemed like the right thing to do. Honestly, I still think it was the right thing to do. We wouldn't have the lives we have today if I had and I can't help thinking that it really was for the best. I have a budding music career. He's a professional athlete with a wife and child...
I'm a coward. Plain and simple. I should have said something long ago. I'm just afraid that once this is all out in the open... well... I'm afraid that I'm going to be all alone. I'm afraid that all my friends will abandon me and hate me for what I did. I kind of think that's why Angela left this morning, but I dunno... it was kind of a last minute trip for her.
{/Private}
Have fun in Mexico, Ang... bring back a good bottle of Tequila!
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| Tuesday, March 6th @ 6:15pm EST (ATL) |
[06 Mar 2012|06:10pm] |
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So my flight is booked. I'm heading up to New York City Thursday night on March 15th and come back on Sunday the 18th. That means I'll be in NYC for St. Paddy's Day. Guess I'll go check out the big parade they have! Any suggestions on what else I should with my spare time?
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| Friday, March 2nd @ 2:32pm EST (ATL) |
[02 Mar 2012|02:31pm] |
Just got home and was getting ready to head out to Blackshear to see the parents. Found some pictures on my phone that I just had to share...
Feel free to ignore, just wanted to free up some memory on the phone!
( Pics! )
Hope everyone has a great weekend! :)
That is all.
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[29 Feb 2012|09:40am] |
Someone was kind enough to video one of my performances at the festival. I did two sets. This one was done later in the line up after the people in charge of the festival saw my first set. They said they loved my songs and my voice. I had actual back up singers for this! It might not be a record deal, but it's definitely a step in the right direction... at least I think it is. Tell me what you think!
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| Sunday, February 24th @ 2:30pm EST (Atlanta) |
[26 Feb 2012|02:36pm] |
Blissfully happy. Apartment is clean. Laundry done. Dinner is cooking. More music tonight. It's Sunday and while tomorrow is Monday and that means work, I can't help but be smiling and happy.
Heading home to visit the folks next weekend if anyone wants a lift back to Blackshear.
That is all.
:)
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[16 Feb 2012|12:59pm] |
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I'm performing at the Jazz Festival this weekend... I have to admit... I'm nervous about this one. Not sure why, but it's got my stomach in knots.
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[31 Jan 2012|11:30am] |
Going to another open mic tonight. I swear one of these day, I'm going to make it big. I've worked too damn hard not to!
Why is that I can book a regular gig in the seedy bars around the city, but I can't get into someplace decent? Not to sound cocky, but my voice is pretty damn incredible. Oh yea, it's because I'm not a size two bimbo!
Anyways... who wants to come and see me sing? I'll buy the first three people a drink! :) Of course, if you're my friend I'd do that anway. ;)
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